Parenting Goals

Infants

 

Bonding Stage:

 

Parent’s Goals:

 

•     Infants’ needs are met by forming an attachment to their parents.

 

•     To help your child feel secure with tender caressing and cuddling

 

•     Infants cannot understand spiritual concepts but can be influenced by the overall spiritual atmosphere within the home.

 

•     To provide a spiritual atmosphere by praying over your child and filling your home with Christian music

 

Toddlers

 

Exploration Stage:

 

Parent’s Goals:

 

•     Toddlers are intensely curious, unaware of danger, and eager to explore their world.

 

•     To encourage your child’s curiosity in a protected environment instead of being annoyed or harsh

 

•     Toddlers begin to separate from parents by being independent and saying no.

 

•     To support your child’s separation by not overreacting or squelching the child’s spirit

 

Preschoolers

 

Testing Stage:

 

Parent’s Goals:

 

•     Preschoolers push against the rules to test the limits.

 

•     To establish structure, set limits, and hold the line with love

 

•     Preschoolers begin to be deceitful, realizing that their parents are not omniscient and can’t read their minds.

 

•     To reflect the compassion of God while correcting your child

 

Elementary School Children

 

Desire for Acceptance Stage:

 

Parent’s Goals:

 

•     Children seek acceptance from different groups through performing various activities and roles.

 

•     To reflect acceptance—enabling your child to see their God-given worth

 

•     Children want to please parents and teachers, and they adopt their parents’ morals, whether good or bad.

 

•     To help your child memorize meaningful Bible passages that show God’s holy standards and His plan for eternal life

 

 

 

Examples:

 

 

 

“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” (James 4:17)

 

 

 

(Also read Romans 3:23 and 6:23; Proverbs 14:12; 1 John 1:9; Romans 10:9; John 1:12 and 14:6; Matthew 16:24 and Psalm 119:11.

Teenagers

 

Identity Stage:

 

Parent’s Goals:

 

•     Teens seek to define their own set of values rather than mindlessly parroting their parents.

 

•     To increase your teen’s exposure to godly role models (pastor, youth leaders/ youth camp counselors, biographies of Christian leaders)

 

•     Teens are idealistic and begin to search for their purpose for living.

 

•     To reflect the character of God, explaining that God’s purpose is that you both become more and more like Christ[1]

 

[1] Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Parenting: Steps for Successful Parenting (pp. 14–15). Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

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